Dead Men Tell No Tales But Still Do Ads

Not knowing very much about how commercials work, I'm left to wonder about the manner in which their shelf life is determined.

I mean, is there a contract in a drawer somewhere that says a commercial has to run "x" number of times, no matter what?

The first time that I got to thinking about this was fairly recently, after a second principal player in a New York State Lottery commercial -- Ed McMahon -- passed from this earth and the damn thing kept airing.

Now the commercial makes great use of three announcers whose voices/trademark expressions are easily recognizable, even if their names (with the exception of McMahon) are not.

But there may be a matter of gross stupidity, if not simple poor taste, to consider.

Months earlier, Don LaFontaine (of "In a world where..." movie trailer fame) had preceded McMahon in death. Yet the commercial kept showing up.

No doubt the same people who like curses, conspiracy theories and real reasons why the Chicago Cubs will never win another World Series have an explanation.

But if I'm the third (and last) of The Three Announcers left standing -- Johnny Gilbert of "Jeopardy!" -- I'm suddenly Mr. Mum, checking out the ice fishing in Greenland and waaay too busy to take notice.

And if somebody wearing mukluks, gloves and a parka comes up and taps me on the shoulder as I'm waiting for a bite, I've already got my story and I'm sticking to it: "Gilbert who? Never heard of the guy."

Happily, the commercial seems to have run its course. Or maybe somebody got to wondering why LaFontaine and McMahon hadn't cashed their residual checks in a while and launched an investigation.

Whatever the reason, at long last The Three Announcers commercial seems to have gone away.

Now if the Ministry of Good Taste would just do something about that radio spot with the guy who sounds too much like Phil Hartman insisting "men get what men want," I could almost feel comfortable again.