They Can Call It Fantasy Football, But For Those Who Make Hard Decisions The Pain Is Pure Reality

Wikipedia defines fantasy football as an "interactive virtual competition in which people manage professional football players versus one another and that allows people to act as general managers of a pseudo-football team."

As someone who has entered this special arena for the first time in this National Football League season, the "pseudo" may be accurate for the team. But as I now know, the pain and anguish are all too real.

Yesterday, I woke up and promptly reached for my general manager's fedora, then I coldly cut Mark Sanchez of the NY Jets from my fantasy football team, the South Shore Soxolaskies.

In his place, I added Ryan Fitzpatrick, quarterback of the Buffalo Bills, which only compounds the problem this caused me. As a fan, I happen to like Mark Sanchez -- I had cheered when the Jets drafted him -- and no real Jets fan should be rooting for a Bills quarterback, much less choosing one over a Jet.

But having just endured one train wreck of a sports season, thanks to my Boston Red Sox (who yesterday fired their second manager in two years, another guy I liked) and NY Mets, I'm not ready to chew on another one just yet and, in this case, extending to my fantasy team.

For as long as I've watched pro football, my favorite teams have been the NY Jets and Minnesota Vikings, so this was a painful chore, telling Mark to turn in his Soxolaskies jersey and playbook.

But to continue in this fantasy thing, I can't deny that this Jets season looks to be going over the cliff. As a fan, there is wiggle room for patience. But with fantasy football, patience tends to be a luxury one cannot afford and even more crucial to one's skills set as the GM of a fantasy team is trying to stay ahead of the curve.

That said...bad enough that I'm on track to get my brains beat in this weekend by one of my all-time favorite Vikings players, as my opponent was able to trade for Adrian Peterson. But I am now reminded of why I had resisted playing fantasy football until this season, only because I thought I'd like to be part of something with a mix of family members, an old friend and his son.

Yes, it sounded like fun. But now reality has kicked in, like a boot from David Akers (who is the Soxolaskies' kicker, btw): to play this fantasy stuff, I am left to root against players/teams I really love.

So yesterday morning, I woke up hating the whole damn thing as I looked for that pseudo-fedora, ready to cut fantasy ties with a quarterback I'll still be rooting for...at least, until somebody else in our fantasy league picks him up.

Staying On Track Despite A Wrecked Season

As anyone who follows the soap opera that is professional wrestling knows, when a fan favorite turns heel the change can be hard to accept.

It's no different with baseball and so I dread what lies in store for me several hours from now.

My favorite American League baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, go up against the New York Yankees for three games at Yankee Stadium starting tonight and I'm in the process of attaining preparedness for all the train-wreck talk about the Sox and their manager, Bobby Valentine.

Bill Parcells, the former coach of several pro football teams, is known for the observation that you are what your record says you are.

Well, heading into tonight's action, the Yankees have won seven and lost three over their last ten games while the Red Sox are four and six during the same span.

Being the optimist that I am, I prefer to note that the Sox are enjoying their ride of a one-game winning streak (while the Yanks are hoping to get off the schneid by snapping a one-game losing string).

But regardless of how I might try to craft the framing of it, there's no denying the fact that the Red Sox awoke this morning looking up at their first-place rivals from a distance of 12 1/2 games.

So I'm ready to hear "beleaguered" and "embattled" beaten into the ground when it comes to the talk about my team, which has compiled a disappointing record of 58 wins and 61 losses at this juncture in the 162-game regular season, amid reports of clubhouse dysfunction.

Certainly, it is not one I would present to Bill Parcells for comment.

But never mind the words. Much worse for me will be the inevitable sight this weekend of former Red Sox pitcher -- and 2004 playoffs and World Series hero -- Mr. Derek Lowe in pinstripes.

It won't be as painful as the images of Luis Tiant and, more recently, Johnny Damon as Yankees, but it will be bad enough.

With all due respect to Sparky Lyle, allowing Carlton Fisk to go to the Chicago White Sox remains the worst personnel decision the Red Sox have made during my lifetime.

But I take some comfort in the fact that at least "Pudge" did not sign with the Yankees.

Thankfully, I can say the same about my all-time favorite Red Sox player, Dwight Evans. His finishing up with the Orioles may have been strictly for the Birds, but better Baltimore than the Bronx.

Go, Sox!!!

When The News From Somewhere Else Raises Some Dark Questions On Safety Close To Home

My earliest thought was not a new one, upon learning today's news out of Aurora, Colorado about a massacre during the midnight showing of the latest Batman movie, "The Dark Knight Rises."

Here in New York, I was reminded that the world is an unsafe place and some points of interest are less safe than others. But the fatal shooting of a dozen people and wounding of nearly 60 others in a movie theater should have stunned me more than it did.

Violence in public places didn't begin during my lifetime, but at various times, I've been shocked and deeply affected by some of the more infamous ones that have occurred since I'm here, the first example being the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

I was a high school freshman sitting in Social Studies class that afternoon, when the principal's voice came out of the PA speaker on the wall, advising us that the president had been shot and telling us to go straight home.

Then the Social Studies teacher, standing at the front of the room, looked out at us and said quietly, "Gentlemen, you are witnessing history."

Well, I've "witnessed" (as in "lived through") a lot of history since that day. I worked as a journalist for more than 20 years and as part of that gig, I had to string words together about some terrible acts of violence.

So by the time the horrific events of Sept. 11, 2001 took place here in NY and elsewhere, I already had a certain understanding that when it comes to safety, its reality is harsh and nothing is promised. And, in truth, any expectation of safety becomes a matter of wishful thinking --- in some cases, more so than others. But some people who could improve things in that respect ought to try more than they do, even if it hurts the budget.

Nowadays I find that I tend to look at things in a way that begs certain questions, such as when I'm navigating my way to a place for the first time, I'll wonder about a certain route: where will I be if I get a flat tire?

Obviously, there are public places that are less safe than others but it bothers me to see the way some operations are run when it comes to even a minimal effort to ensure safety. At any site where strangers gather, there ought to be some kind of security, if only for the confidence it might give attendees --- and not just to deter violence.

The last time I found myself in a dark room with people I didn't know was when My Wonderful Wife Peg and I went to a multiplex to see "The Avengers." Holy Crow, they didn't even have the ticket booth outside manned. We proceeded to the lobby's candy and popcorn counter to buy a ticket and even then, there was no one to ask for that ticket -- much less greet us (or give us "the once-over") -- as we walked into the room showing "The Avengers."

In keeping with a popular slogan of the day, I have to ask: even if someone in that theater did see something suspicious, who would they say it to?

Never mind a possible fistfight (I've sat through a couple in different movie theaters) or some much-worse threat of violence. Maybe it's because I've had basic training in CPR and how to use an Automated External Defibrillator, but I also wonder what would happen if some poor soul (maybe me) were stricken during the movie?

For me, the reality of patronizing that movie theater begged more questions than the idea of driving on a certain dark road at 2 a.m.

As for the tragedy that's now in the news -- the movie-theater massacre by a gunman in a gas mask -- admittedly, I know nothing of how this particular Colorado theater is operated. But learning just a little of what happened there quickly brought back some observations made close to home recently.

Was it really so long ago that if someone got up and propped open an exit door as James Holmes reportedly did before he went out to retrieve his personal weapons of mass destruction, there was someone –- a movie usher or matron -- employed by the theater to intervene?

It’s enough to make me wonder, too, if the world has become more dangerous largely because too many public places simply allow it.

Even so, my plans to see the Batman movie next week remain unchanged --- though it will be at a theater other than the one where my wife and I saw "The Avengers."

Online Values, Friendships And The Wisdom Of Walter Winchell

When it comes to learning the value of something nowadays, the easiest way is to travel the path of the lax and lazy: list it on eBay, or some other online marketplace, and watch what happens.

For one thing, you can do it from home and in your pajamas, which should be enough to recommend it. Additionally, there’s no gas spent on a trip to some place where you’ll stand with hopeful eyes as you try to decipher the expression of some expert after he breaks out his loupe for the crucial appraisal.

Of course, as an online seller who wants to know what something is worth and is willing to let unseen bidders set the price, it helps if you’re not in a particularly big hurry. Ordinarily, instant gratification is not part of the learning process.

However, after a while, maybe a week, you’ll have your answer in the form of a final bid. Much like the verdict handed down by a jury on “Law & Order,” you might not agree with the decision, but at least you’ll find out what others think about the value of something that belongs to you.

This works with varying degrees of success when the item is something that would be appropriate for a yard sale -- i.e., just about anything a stranger can lift or point to and ask, “How much will you take for it?” -- but the matter becomes a bit more complicated with items that aren’t so tangible.

Friendship is one of them. I got to thinking about this after seeing a spot on the local news, as presented on WABC-TV, about Facebook users who have been “un-friending” others over postings that express the contrariness of their political views.

On Facebook and other social networking sites, people can stockpile their fellow users as “friends” through the simple process of invitation and acceptance called “friending,” which increases access to information about those users. But it’s also an ego boost, depending on the value one places on such a gain.

Personally, I can’t think of stronger proof that after “genius,” no word in the English language has been assaulted by cheapening blows more than the root word of “friendship.” I’ll leave it to others to decide why this is so, as there may be some deep psychological reason for it --- or, at least, one too deep for the likes of me.

But I do know that if my car breaks down while I’m driving on Long Island’s Robert Moses Causeway at 2 a.m., without counting anyone at AAA, I’m going to have a small pool of people to call and I won’t need a social networking site to identify them. As for their value, well, some things in this life are simply known.

Possibly, it’s because I spent more than two decades writing for a newspaper and have a bend in me because of the experience, but with all due respect to Facebook, I prefer the rule of thumb attributed to an old New York newspaperman named Walter Winchell.

Winchell was the country’s first syndicated gossip columnist and he wrote for the New York Daily Mirror, my grandfather’s favorite newspaper, from 1929 until that tabloid closed in 1963.

In his heyday, Walter Winchell was also a big deal as a radio personality, wielding power and influence through his broadcasts for more than 20 years. But that kind of fame belonged to his popularity with a generation that preceded baby boomers like me.

As a kid who watched a lot of television, I mostly knew of Walter Winchell as the narrator of “The Untouchables,” the popular (albeit highly fictionalized) crime drama starring Robert Stack that ran from 1959 to 1963. It was loosely based on federal agent Eliot Ness and his team as they battled Prohibition-era gangsters. Winchell’s speedy staccato made him an ideal choice as narrator.

Much later, when I was reporting on the perpetrators of murder and mayhem, I learned about Winchell’s role in the surrender of Louis “Lepke” Buchalter, who remains one of the more notorious criminals in New York City’s history.

For all that, however, it’s Winchell’s view on friendship -- given to me years ago on a glazed slab of stone for use as a paperweight -- that has stuck with me.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out,” he observed.

Walter Winchell died in 1972, which means he’s been gone longer than the combined years that eBay and Facebook have been in existence. Since he's credited with having created enough slang -- with examples such as "scram" and "pushover" -- to fill a small dictionary, I figure that the same guy who came up with "infanticipating" (for expecting a child) would have approved of "friending" as a word.

But I can only guess whether he would have accepted my Facebook invitation --- or dumped me later on for the crime of posting a contrary opinion.